Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Peanut Butter Solution

     Disclaimer: this post has little to do with the morbid and creepifying 1985 children's movie The Peanut Butter Solution, other than both use peanut butter as a major plot point.  Also, the protagonist of the film and I both have amazing hair, which may or may not be the result of ghostly specters urging me to do strange things with the foodstuffs.  (Side note: can we all agree that this movie may be both the best and worst thing to ever happen in the 80's?  I blame slash give credit to Canada.  Ya'll so crazy!)

Don't hate us because we're beautiful.
     Now, let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?  Like most autistic children, Skeletor is a picky eater.  Very picky.  Like he would probably let himself succumb to starvation before he ventured outside whatever his four food groups happen to be that year.  One of his very favorite things to eat is a peanut butter sandwich.  (No jelly!  That's lowbrow!)  So, naturally, I pack him one in his lunchbox every day.  Every.  Single.  Day.  And he usually eats his entire sandwich, has a full tum tum, and is a happy camper.  Until recently, that is.  The last few weeks, Skeletor has been bringing home a lunchbox that still contains an entirely intact peanut butter sandwich.  Nary a nibble out of the thing.  Which was pretty weird considering that he was still chowing down on the things at home.  After repeated questioning, badgering, and nagging on my part, eventually the reason came out.  My sweet, kind-hearted, adorable, precious angel baby was not eating his most favoritest of foods because his friend that sits next to him at lunch is allergic to peanuts.  Lack of empathy, huh?  Pffftttttttttttttt (phonetically spelled out, unladylike fart sound.)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Overwhelming Overwhelminess

     Hey, guys, I'm throwing a pity party, and you're all invited!  For cereal, though, I haven't updated my blog in...oh, forever because things have been kind of rough around here.  So, now I'm going to vent.  You don't have to read it, but it's my party, and I'll cry if I want to!
     To start with, I know lots of people have it rougher than I do.  I know this.  But, lately, I feel like we can't catch a break.  And, for once in the history of this blog, the struggles have nothing to do with Autism.  To the contrary, my son has been rocking the pants off of the first grade.  I knew he was a smart cookie, but I had no idea that he was actually face-meltingly brilliant.  (It's a medical term.  Look it up.)  We seem to have found a system for doing things that actually works.  So, yay, three cheers for us, right?  Yes.  But, every other thing going on in our lives seems to be ten times more difficult than necessary.  My seven year old is really, really struggling with first grade.  (She repeated kindergarten, and is now in the same grade as Skeletor.)  We have an appointment soon to have her evaluated for...I don't even know.  Whatever's causing her extreme difficulties?  We have a family history of dyslexia among other things.  So, yeah.  That's not fun.
     Then, of course, is my fibromyalgia and its corresponding lack of gainful employment.  (Which causes soul-sucking poverty.)  If anyone has actually read this blog semi-regularly (?), you might recall that I've been struggling with a mysterious illness for several years now.  Because it started when I was in Iraq, I called it my Terrible Iraqi Wasting Disease.  Then, when I got back to the States and the symptoms didn't go away, it became my Terrible Intercontinental Wasting Disease or TICWD (pronounced Ticweed) for short.  Then I was misdiagnosed with the Lymes, and now, five years later, here I sit being all fibromyalgia-y and junk.  It is also not fun.
     So, I say all that to say this:  I'm back.  For real this time.  Baby, I won't ever leave you again.  I promise.  You're my soul mate, girl.  Take me back.  Please?

                                                  What I would look like if I were a cartoon.